Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
