would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
