my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
