I must be too annoying 4 u.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
