4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
