This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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