I am puke
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
