she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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