Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
