walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
