YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
