There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
