Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
