we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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