Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
