Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
