I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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