There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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