So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
