so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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