and next time when you feel me up, do it right
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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