Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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