I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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