I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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