She went from zero to smokin in five shots
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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