You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize