At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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