This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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