i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
