Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
