belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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