can u get pink eye on your cock?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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