How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
