I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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