So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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