the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
