it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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