I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Randomize
