you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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