U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
