i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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