If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
