oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
