yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize