Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
