why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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