I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
