I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
just found out that she named her cat after me.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
