We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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