I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Randomize
