Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
