what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
