dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
