what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize