it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize