She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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